Who The F*** Are We?

Hey reader!

You might be wondering, why should I ask for your advice? What are your qualifications? Also, who the fuck are you?

Good questions. We are not therapists, but our therapists think we could someday be good therapists.

Also, we’ve had diarrhea and argued with our partners in overpriced apartments on both coasts and several cities in between. Our professional expertise includes: answering phones, teaching [in universities and correctional centers], scrubbing dog shit out of kennels, performing classical music, writing, editing, making coffee, selling books, cutting steaks. If you couldn’t tell from this list, we are also experts at being broke.

Simply put, we’re human, we’ve fucked up a lot, and we’re paying really close attention. Our advice might not land you a publishing contract or a wifey, but we promise to try and make sense of whatever it is you’re going through.

We’ll try our best to help with anything we can, but we thought it prudent to let you know that there are some things we are not equipped to talk about. Okay, one thing in particular. That thing? Bitcoin. Or cryptocurrency in general. Please don’t write in about this unless you’re able to explain it to us, because we have no fucking idea what a block chain is.